Joke For Trainers

1.

A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again.

He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: Many hands make light work."

2.

When presenting ideas to groups, I'm reminded of the old-time comedian, Groucho Marx, who once said, "Before I speak, I have something important to say."

3.

He decided that instead of trying to do something and failing, he would succeed at nothing.

4.

"Where did you receive your quality training?"

"Yale."

"Good, and what's your name?"

"Yim Yohnson."

5.

Instead of trying to make the Pony Express run faster, businesses need to step back from the horses and imagine the FAX machine.

6.

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?" a reporter asked a bank president.

"Two words."

"And, sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"And how do you make right decisions?"

"One word."

"And sir, what is that?"

"Experience."

"And how do you get Experience?"

"Two words."

"And, sir, what are they?"

"Wrong decisions."

7.
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one.
Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."