Buang Kerja

Sam: Aku baru je kena buang kerja!

Dol: Apa pasal?

Sam: Supervisor aku punya pasal la.

Dol: Kenapa?

Sam: Engkau tau la supervisor macam mana. Tercegat je. Cekak pinggang, tengok orang buat kerja.

Dol: Memang la, tapi kenapa dia pecat engkau pulak.

Sam: Dia bengang kat aku.... sebab semua orang ingat aku supervisor.

Surat Berhenti Kerja

JULIANA BONUS BT CHE ROSS
NO 834,LORONG BAHGIA
TAMAN SEJAHTERA
06600
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= =
MUHAMAD YUSOP
PLOT 131A,
JALAN PERINDUSTRIAN BUKIT MINYAK,
14100 BUKIT MINYAK,
SEBERANG PERAI TENGAH,
PENANG . 19 DEC 2005

TUAN,

PER : SURAT BERHENTI KERJA

Saya seperti nama diatas, ingin memohon berhenti kerja. Saya berharap permohonan ini diluluskan. Berikut adalah sebab- musabab saya ingin berhenti kerja:-

1. Saya kerap dibuli oleh senior.

2. Makanan di kantin tak sedap tapi mahal macam KFC. Tambahan pula kalau makcik senior yg kira.

3. Lagu 5'S tidak masuk dalam carta ERA.

4. Waktu rehat tersangat pendek 15 minit je... Nak beratur pun dah 20 minit!!!

5. KERJA BERDIRIIIIIIIIIII. .. ... ... . Kasut takde sponge pulak!!!!!

6. Bas kilang tersangat laju... . Tersangat BAHAYA... ..

7. Kalau setakat nak keja kilang, lebih baik tak payah ambil SPM. Indon tak ambil SPM pun boleh keja jugak!!!

8. Pekerja dipaksa O.T. Ingat kita orang ROBOT ke!!! Kalau tak O.T. ugut nak bagi Warning Letter pulakk... ..

9. Pintu kecemasan dihalang. Bila BOMBA audit baru kalut. KESELAMATAN TIDAK DIUTAMAKAN.

10. Scan in/out sikit nak masuk kena beratok sampai GATE HOUSE nak balik kena beratok BULEH TAWAF satu kilang..

11. Pintu keluar masuk 2 shj. Pekerja beribu... . Masuk LATE marah!!! Balik LATE driver BAS pulak marah!!!! sampai rumah mak bapak pulak yang marah KAMI selalu kena MARAHHHHHH.. .

12. Boss kadang 2 ok, kadang 2 tension sampai tak ingat 2 yang kami ni orang gak

13. Faedah2 lain tak memuaskan. contoh keja bagai nak tecabut kepala lutut profet shereing HAMPEHHH

14. BANYAK LAGI NAK HABAQ TAPI KUT TAK SANGUP DENGAQ KUT!!!!

15. Bonus Tahun Ni Takde Macam Hampeh...Orang Gaji Besar je yang dapat,Orang bawahan semua tak dapat...Kalau mcm ni biar boss besar mati cepat!!!! ..baru ada keadilan.... .. Aminnnn

Untuk pengetahuan tuan, saya telah berjaya menabung sebanyak RM 1.5 juta selama saya bekerja sebagai operator. Wang itu telah saya laburkan dalam bentuk dinar emas. Setiap bulan, pendapatan saya adalah sebanyak RM890. Inilah faktor utama saya ingin berhenti kerja. Terima kasih atas segala kerjasama ... ... ... ... tunjuk ajar tuan selama ini dengan saya.

**Akhir kata, terimalah sebuah pantun MAUTdari saya... ... ..
IKAN KELI, IKAN KEMBUNG; ANGKAT KAKI, LLLAAAMMMBUNG. .. ... ... ... ...

What A True Malaysian Should Know

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH
Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL CONDOM
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,
any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an
eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK :
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few
pints they start swearing at everything.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN) :
Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN) :
Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX :
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep,mother-i n-law
around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond
not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet,
forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period,
haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply,
going to watch 'Santa Barbara', depress, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX :
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are
all 'dried up'.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES :
Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another
secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA
Moh Fah Kor.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES)
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES) :
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER
NATIONAL Rice Cooker

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP :
Anywhere As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR 'WHERE ARE YOU' ?
- on the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE :
- 10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler...
inclusive chicken meat?

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE :
Still cheaper than other country la...

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course
must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah!

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION
'I got some work to do la..u all go first la..'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT
ROOFS : An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased
palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS :
None. We were misquote d.

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES :
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan
saya punya bapak punya kah?!

NATIONAL REASON FOR HAVING BIG ONION DOMES ON TAXPAYER
FUNDED PUBLIC BUILDINGS : Dunno. It's not as if we're
anywhere near the middle east.

NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN
CAR COMPANIES : We're about to unveil another badly designed
low budget car, which, coupled with our notorious customer
service and corporate mismanagement, will see us bankrupt
again within the next 5 years. And so we have absolutely no
need for the Germans and their silly car-making and
market-positioning knowhow, thank you very much.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER
QUEUE) : Everybody doing what lah.......

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE :
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION) :
Give them minum kopi lar...