3 kereta

Pada suatu malam yang hening dan sunyi di lebuhraya utara selatan kelihatan sebuah kelisa putih tersadai di sebelah lane kerosakan. Ada orang tua yang berdiri disebelahnya,pemilik kelisa tu sedang berjalan kehulu kehilir cuba menahan kereta supaya membantu.tidak ada sebuah kereta pun berhenti.tiba-tiba datangla sebuah kereta evo10 berhenti di sebelah kelisa tadi.

"Ada apa nie pakcik,kereta rosak ke?"tanya pemuda berusia dalam lingkungan 20an."a'ha rosak "jawap pakcik tu simple aje....

"Ok,cam nie,saya ada tali nanti saya ikat kat kereta saya dan saya tarik kereta pakcik sampai tol"mamat nie bagi idea.

"worrait gak tu...", tapi....nanti kalau pakcik rasa awak bawak laju pakcik akan hon dan bagi high beam"

"Ok pakcik"..mamat nie pun ikatlah tali kat kereta kelisa didepan dan hujungnya diikat dibelakang bumper evonye.
dia pun jalanla..dengan slow dan berhati-hati. Dalam lima kilometer mamat nie laju le sikit,apalagi pakcik tu pun hon dan bagi high beam la kat mamat tu.Mamat tu pun slowkan balik..

Tiba-tiba ada sebuah ferrari datang dari belakang dan press minyak kat mamat evo10.apa lagi,jiwa muda patang dicabar, dia pun tekan la minyak rapat nak kejar ferrari nie...lupa la pulak dia dengan kelisa org tua yg diikat kat belakang kereta dia.

Orang tua tu punya la hangin satu badan,dia pun hon dan bagi hi beam bagai nak rak.Mamat evo10 tu dah tak sedar dah angin punya pasal.
Kebetulan pilak polis ada buat speed trap kat bawah jambatan.

Vrooommm......bedesup peginye... ini dah lebih speed limit nie...kate polis nie..cecah 250kmj memasing nie... Dia pun contact la kengkawan dia kat depan supaya saman kereta-kereta yg laju nie...

"Over..over,ada tiga buah kenderaan memandu melebihi had laju,sebuah ferrari,sebuah evo10 dan sebuah lagi kalau aku cakap korang mesti tak percaye punye.........sebuah kelisa biru tengah cucuk angin evo10 tu dan bagi hon dan hi beam nak potong!!!"

Top 10 Countries Without Military Forces

As said by famous French statesman George Clemenceau, “War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military,” and even today, his statement still stands true. While most countries have large military forces that are able to deploy and protect at any given time (the largest and most notable being China, at about 1,600,000 army personnel), some countries have no military at all.

Below is a list of ten countries that have no set military forces, each of them with varying reasons why; some because of the country’s history other because of its location. While many people believe that a military force is a necessity, there are countries that see or have no need for them; however, in many cases, there is a back-up plan in the case that the country is attacked or war is declared upon that country.

10. Solomon Islands

The Solomon Islands, surprisingly, is not made up of just a few islands, but totals ranging in the thousands. Ever since the U.K. became the country’s protectorate in 1893, the country hasn’t had much of a military defense. During WWII the country did have the British Solomon Islands Protectorate Defense Force. Then, in 1976 the Solomon Islands were able to establish a government that was stable up until about 1998. During 1998-2006, the country was plagued with misconduct within the government, crime, and ethnic conflict. To properly resolve these issues, New Zealand and Australia both stepped in to restore peace and eventually disarm. Today the country internally has the Solomon Islands Police Force.

So who’s the protector?

There is no set protector of the Solomon Islands; however, the country had paid Australia for certain defense items. If a war were to ever be declared upon the islands, Australia would probably be one of the first countries to provide a defense. (Image: “Captain Warren Frederick Martin Clemens, British Solomon Islands Protectorate Defense Force (BSIPDF), with six members of the BSIPDF Scouts,” www.leatherneck.com.)

9. Costa Rica

Though the country did once have an army, today, Costa Rica stands as one of many countries without a formal standing army. On December 1, 1948, José Figueres Ferrer, president at the time, signed legislation that would abolish the military after the fatal Costa Rican civil war that killed almost 2,000 people. To properly represent this abolishment, the president himself was able to break a wall of the Cuartel Bellavista, which was once an army headquarters location. Today the country has the Fuerza Pública which provides law enforcement, ground security, border patrol, and many other common duties held by a police force.

So who’s the protector?

Thanks to the Inter-American Treaty of Reciprocal Assistance of 1947, if any country were to ever attack or declare war upon Costa Rica, the country can depend on 21 other countries, including the U.S., Chile, and Cuba to provide some sort of military force to provide defense. The treaty stands that if any of the signed countries were attacked, those other countries would be looked upon to help provide some sort of military defense.

8. Samoa

Today, Samoa has no set military force that could be used if ever necessary. Instead, the country would have to rely on outside friendships with other countries to find protection and defense in wartime. The country does have a Samoa Police Force, but of course, this is definitely not considered to be a military force for the entire country.

So who’s the protector?

Samoa has a friendship treaty with New Zealand, made in 1962. In the event of a war or other foreign invasion, Samoa can call upon New Zealand for any sort of necessary military aid. However the agreement does state that either country can pull out of the treaty at any time if wanted.

7. Palau

Despite the lack of a national military force, Palau does have a Palau National Police section that was created to provide the necessary protection for civilians. Like most police forces, the Palau National Police force is needed to keep the peace and attend to any internal unrest that may occur. If war were to ever arise, Palau would have to reach out for help from other countries to provide some sort of defense system.

So who’s the protector?

Standing as an associated state, Palau will be protected by the U.S. in the event that the country is attacked or if another country decides that war with Palau is a must. This is because of the Compact of Free Association of 1983 that basically made the U.S. the protectorate of Palau.

6. Andorra

Despite not ever having a true organized military, the tiny country of Andorra was bold enough to declare war on Germany in 1914 and join the so called Great War. With a 10-man strong army, the country did not do much and was not taken seriously. Even though the country did officially pick sides, Andorra was not invited to the Versailles Peace Treaty negotiations. In 1931 the group of men roughly called an army was replaced by the Andorran National Police. This group, made up of about 240 men, was created to help keep the peace and is even trained to provide hostage rescue. Joining the police force is a must if you’re a man who owns a firearm.

So who’s the protector?

Andorra has not one, not two, but three protectors. France and Spain have both pledged to be the militaristic protectors of the 181 sq mi. country because of its location (landlocked). In fact in 1933, France militaristic force was needed to help settle civil unrest in the country. Besides these two countries, NATO forces would also take part in protecting the country if ever necessary.

5. Grenada

Ever since the American-led invasion of Grenada, the country has not been able to establish a standing army. The invasion was mostly started because of a military coup and a power struggle within the government that led to the execution of the Grenadian Prime Minister, Maurice Bishop. Because of this invasion which successfully turned a communist state back into a democratic nation, the country does not have a standing army, but relies on the Royal Grenada Police Force as well as the Regional Security System.

So who’s the protector?

There is no set country that is set out to protect Grenada with a military force. Because of the Regional Security System, the country can look to Antigua and Barbuda, Barbados, Dominica, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, and Saint Vincent and the Grenadines for some sort of military support; however, most of these countries do not have a big enough defense system to be of great assistance. It seems that inevitably the U.S. would run to the rescue.

4. Marshall Islands

Under the Compact of Free Association of 1983, the Marshall Islands was granted the status of a sovereign nation. Also involved in the pact is the Federated States of Micronesia and Palau. Under this agreement, the three countries would be free, but would stand as associated states to the U.S. This means that the U.S. will serve as the protectorate and that the Marshall Islands would have no regular military force, or any sort of responsibility for the country’s defense during wartime. The country created the Marshall Islands Police to carry out common police duties within the country.

So who’s the protector?

Since the Marshall Islands are considered to be an associated state to the U.S., the U.S. is fully responsible for the country’s defense and security. If the islands were ever attacked, the U.S. would have to provide the necessary military support to assist in the war.

3. Liechtenstein

Like a few others on the list, Liechtenstein is another country that decided to completely abolish its standing army. Liechtenstein got rid of its army in 1868 after the Austro-Prussian War because it was said to be too expensive for the country to afford. After the country was freed from the German Confederation, it was obligated to maintain its own army, but the funding just wasn’t available. However, to keep peace within the country, there is a police force known as the Principality of Liechtenstein National Police.

So who’s the protector?

There is no set country that would have to defend Liechtenstein in the event of a war or some other sort of attack. It is said that the country is allowed to rally up an army in the case of a war, but this army would probably be futile and help from Switzerland just might come. There have been talks of Switzerland being responsible for Liechtenstein’s defense, but neither country have proven or denied this claim. (Image: www.landespolizei.li.)

2. Nauru

Nauru, known as the smallest island country in the world at just 8.1 sq miles is definitely unique in many ways, though like plenty others on the list, has no set standing army or any other type of military force. The country, possibly due to its size, doesn’t even have a capital. Though extremely small, the country does have a Nauru Police Force that is utilized to ensure that the country is able to maintain stability. Located in a group of thousands of small islands called Micronesia, the country is heavily relied upon for its readily accessible phosphate. Today the country keeps close contact with nearby Australia and other Micronesia islands.

So who’s the protector?

It is said that through an informal agreement made between Nauru and Australia that Australia would supply militaristic needs or basic country defense. In fact, in December 1940 when Germany attacked Nauru, the Australian Navy was called upon to defend the country as necessary.

1. Vatican City

Named the smallest country in the world, Vatican City, unsurprisingly, is a country that does not have a de jure military; however, this hasn’t always been the case. In the past, there were numerous militaristic groups that were created to protect the country and most importantly the Pope. Notably the Noble Guard and the Palatine Guard did exist, but Pope Paul VI abolished both groups in 1970. Today, Vatican City’s best example of a militaristic force would be the Pontifical Swiss Guard. This group is meant to protect the Pope as well as the Palace of the Vatican. There is also the Gendarmerie Corps, but this group is considered to be a civilian force rather than military. They are responsible for keeping public order, traffic control, border control, and investigating criminal activity.

So who’s the protector?

Well, since Vatican City is located in Rome, Italy is fully responsible for protecting the tiny country within its own country’s capital. Italy has an organized armed force of about 186,798 men and women with 109,703 personnel in the Army and 43,882 in the Navy. The country also has an Air Force that can provide protection as needed.

Playboy Jokes

1.
As a group of people boarded a packed hotel elevator, a man was pushed to the ear corner. Unable to reach the panel of buttons, he called out, “Ballroom, please.”
“I’m sorry,” the woman in front of him said. “I didn’t realize I was crowding you.”

2.
Three men were sitting around discussing women, and one said to the others, “I enjoy looking at a woman’s tits the most.”
“Personally I’d rather look at a woman’s ass,” the second man replied. “How about you?” he asked, turning to the third man.
“Me?” the man said. “I prefer to see the top of a woman’s head.”

3.
A surly man walked into a bar, ordered a beer,chugged it, gestured to the right side of the room and bellowed,
“All you guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers!”
The entire bar fell silent. After a moment the man said, “Anyone here got a problem with what I said?”
Everyone remained quiet, so the man ordered another beer, took a swig, gestured to his left and added, “And all you guys on this side of the bar are motherfuckers!”
Once again the bar fell silent. The man looked around and roared, “Anyone got a problem with that?”
A lone man got up from his stool unsteadily and started to walk toward the man.
The belligerent man looked him in the eye and said, “You got a problem, buddy?”
“Oh no,” the man replied. “I’m just on the wrong side of the bar.”

4.
A huge man was getting married to a very petite woman, and at their wedding one of the man’s friends asked him how the two managed to have sex, given the extreme difference in their sizes.
“Well,” the large man replied, “I sit on a chair and she sits facing me on my lap, and then I just bob her up and down.”
“You know, that doesn’t sound too bad,” the friend said.
“It’s great,” the man replied. “It’s kind of like jerking off, only I have somebody to talk to.”

5.
The perfect husband is a man who regularly makes his wife’s panties wet. He does the laundry every week. Around dusk a patrolman started making his
evening rounds and discovered two elderly ladies sitting in a vehicle in the lot of a used-car dealership. He stopped and asked what they were doing.
“You ladies aren’t trying to steal this car, are you?” the officer asked.
“Heavens no,” one of the women answered.
“We bought it.”
“Then why don’t you drive it home?” the officer said.
“Neither one of us can drive,” the other woman replied.
“Then why on earth did you buy a car?” the officer asked.
“Well,” the first woman replied, “we were told we would get screwed if we bought a used car, so now we’re just waiting.”



6.
Marriage is a three-ring circus: There is an engagement ring, a wedding ring and suffering.

7.
One morning a man opened his newspaper and was stunned to see his own death notice in the obituary column. Horrified, he immediately called his best friend.
“Have you seen today’s paper?” he asked his friend. “It says I died!”
“Yes, I saw it,” his friend replied. “So where are you calling from?”

8.
A recent study of men’s sleeping habits found that three percent of men wake up in the middle of the night to urinate, two percent get up to raid the fridge and 50 percent get up to go home.