In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him:
Teacher - John, why aren’t you writing?
John - I’m exhausted because of sex.
Teacher - That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.
Two friends:
- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Of course! How many people are coming?
- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
One woman stops a taxi.
- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
- You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
- Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither.
One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.
Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
- Daddy, my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls.
- You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.
After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
- Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?
- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.
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