Happy Birthday

1.
A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 
'What's the matter?' she asked. 
'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 
'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.

'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?'
'Because I'm lost!' 

2.

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right." 

"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."

"Well, today is his birthday."

3.

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" 
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

4.
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” 
Well, you can imagine her disappointment. 
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. 
She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” 
He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!” 

5.

Q : When is your birthday?
A : 20th October.
Q : What year? 
A : Every year! 

6.
Faizah : Mum, do you know what I m going to give you for your birthday? 
Mum : No, dear, what ? 
Faizah : A nice teapot. 
Mum : But I’ve got a nice teapot. 
Faizah : No you haven t. I’ve just dropped it.  

Get Your Birthday Present  Here