Joke For Trainers

You Know You've Been A Consultant Too Long When...

1. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the McDonald's bags out of the back seat of your car.

2. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is they do not have e-mail.

3. You have a "to-do" list that includes entries for bathroom breaks and lunch and they are the ones that don't usually get crossed off.

4. You refer to the dining room table as the "flat file".

5. Your idea of being organized is multicolored post-it notes.

6. Your grocery list has been on the fridge so long that some of the items do not exist anymore.

7. You lecture neighborhood kids who have lemonade stands on ways to improve profits.

8. You refer to tomatoes grown in your garden as "deliverables".

9. You are excited when you have to work on Saturday because you can wear sweats.

10. You find you really need power point to explain to friends what it is you do.

11. You regularly eat out of vending machines and the most expensive restaurant in town in the same week.

12. You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.

13. You know the people at airport hotels better than you do your neighbors.

14. You ask friends to think "out of the box" when you make Friday night plans.

15. You think Einstein would have been more effective if he had put his ideas into a "matrix model".

16. You think working a "half-day" means quitting at 5 o'clock.